Watershed
For the last few weeks now, I’ve been relying on support from my A.A. friends as I go through an embarrassing and awkward separation and eminent divorce. I am grateful to have that support, but I am frustrated by how much more I need to change. It is like having the imposter inside exposed for the ruse that he is, and I must confess that I have let my life get away from me. Not by drinking or drugging, but by failing to handle my affairs the way sober people ought to, with honor and integrity. I think we alcoholics are guilty sometimes of calling ourselves ‘works in progress’ as a way of justifying the slowness or lack of change. We don’t consider that stupid and hurtful actions on our part can cut to the quick in moments and take years to heal. We are surprised that our apologies can be brushed aside by angry recipients tired of waiting on us to grow the hell up and we don’t consider the fact that, damn it, our actions do affect others in very real and painful ways. We want justi